“Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls”
– Kahlil Gibran: The Prophet
Our relationships with others should mirror this concept. Whether it be romantic love, or any relationship; love is not a manner by which to control another human being or wield power over them.
I absolutely believe in commitment, fidelity, mutual respect, and freedom. Freedom is key. You, and those you love should have the freedom to be your true self. Do not allow others to hamper your soul, or mold you into someone you are not.
As we all move forward, I believe that it is imperative to take some time to consider how we interact with those we love. We all may have been guilty at some point of being too controlling, or jealous, or a laundry list of other things. However, at this point is is more pertinent to consider whether we have learned from our mishaps, or have we fallen into a cycle of attachment and control.
I think a good thing to consider first, is that loving another is giving them permission to be. It is not claiming ownership over that person. It is okay to make mutually agreed upon commitments with an individual, but no one should feel forced. Love does not have to be forced. The more you act possessive over an individual and attempt to control them, the less freedom and joy they will feel in the relationship, and nobody wants that.
It is okay to let go of people who are not treating you with respect and dignity or who are keeping you from being your true self. I am not saying to act rashly. You may need to have a discussion with someone, and let them know how you feel, give them a chance to reconcile things. Like I mentioned before — we have all made mistakes, and if we go on unaware of them we do not have the opportunity to correct things and move forward.
All relationships have bright spots and some trying moments; just as all flames flicker at times. Let this current time of transition be one in which you weed out the relationships that no longer serve you, and send those people onward with love and best wishes. This will allow you to focus more attention of nurturing the relationships that make you feel free, and alive. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband and family (Including friends who have become family — YOU know who you are). I have learned that all relationships undergo change, and that trying to keep someone in a certain mold or way of being is not constructive for anyone. So much like Kahilil Gibran, I believe a loving relationship is best when it is like a sea between two souls — it flows freely, but always returns to the shore.
So much love to each of you always,