Showing Feelings, Of an Almost Human Nature…


So, I’ve been through a Lot in the past month or so. I feel like I’ve been living inside a hot air popper and I’m the only kernel!

My son broke up with his girlfriend,it was his first real relationship, and he was very sad.

Every time I was around him and he would be down, and his sadness started to trigger all kinds of things in me, things I was sure I was long done with.

Every time I was in the Bridge To Freedom message thread,   I felt like I was always talking about really sad things. It felt like I was on a downhill bend on the roller coaster we are all currently riding.  Luckily, it has to go up eventually too!

Throughout this, my daughter was experiencing a lot of anxiety that I was doing my best to be supportive in, and my son was still depressed.

I found myself almost every day, needing to go to Creator, light my smudge sticks, and just release all the things I had absolutely no control over anyways.

By the middle of October, right around our Canadian Thanksgiving, it felt like I was the poster child for Murphy’s Law: Anything that could go wrong was going totally wrong. I didn’t realize till this week that we were in Mercury Retrograde, Lol, that explains that…

At one point in the month I found my dreams moving backwards too. I started dreaming about my meadow, again, something I had not remembered in such a long long time. The memory came back to me that the summer I turned 9, I saw my family moving deeper and deeper into stress and poverty, and that is about the time when my awakening vision/dreams started.

In the vision/dream I was in my meadow, and my meadow always had purple, lilac and periwinkle flowers, tall grass, and sometimes it had flowers that were vivid or pale white/ yellow. Every time I had the vision/dream (and I say it was a vision because it was always too realistic to be a dream), I would always find my child self running and running for the end of the rainbow that was always in the sky.

In the vision/dream  I’d run and run and try so hard to find and catch the end of the rainbow, but as hard as I’d try, I’d never be able to catch it. Well in one vision/dream I ran and ran and I actually reached the end of the rainbow and lo and behold, I Finally caught it! I was Ecstatic! It was a moment of Total Joy!

In the vision/dream that rainbow was the most vivid that I had ever seen it before!

I ran up to it to touch it. I remember clearly that it felt like a thick liquid & its colors started running through my fingers… Then in the vision/dream changed, and I was in the bathroom in the house we currently lived in.

I was standing over the toilet and I remember being totally mesmerized by the colors swirling into the water, until I realized with apprehension that all the colors were now being flushed away!

I was mortified and began crying. I cried so hard in the vision/dream that when I awoke, my face was wet with tears.

Even though this happened 40 years ago, this vision/.dream was still having a lot of impact on some unfinished aspect of me somewhere..

When all was finally said & done, and I found myself sick the day after Thanksgiving, it felt like this day had been  the hardest one yet. I got home and went straight to bed. The next day I decided then and there to give up gluten as much as I could as a permanent way of being.

I started looking at that days posts, and ended up looking under ascension symptoms to see if the way I was feeling had anything to do with them. There on the site called, was listed every single thing I had been experiencing since the middle or end of September. . Thank Goodness I wasn’t losing it after all! Lol

I think that, after understanding what I had been going through, I was able to do a final push-release before bed that day. I fell asleep that night and slept so very soundly.

The next morning, maybe it was also the result of giving up and releasing all the toxins that were in my body, but for the first time in quite a long time, or maybe even ever,  I really and truly felt like a Million Bucks!!

4 thoughts on “Showing Feelings, Of an Almost Human Nature…”

  1. Me too -woke up this morning knowing that my conscious had been expanded. I seem to be living in a larger space, but past two weeks have been a nightmare that I thought I would never get through. thanks to the grace of God and many helping hands, I have survived to see another blue sky and autumn leaves. Beth.

  2. You say “Feelings of an almost human nature” What do you mean exactly? My biggest challenge in this lifetime is to release and express feelings, but I ‘feel’ that many in spirit, including the hierarchy – that stuffy office of white robed beings who have their scrolls and their theologies, do not approve of feelings. I have had a challenge in this area and was almost taken to task as I expressed my deepest with held feelings, not emotions which somehow are different. What do you think?

  3. I agree with you. People in the hierarchy often do not wish to deal with anything that doesn’t fit with their agendas. This is because their agendas are not even in favor of what and who we Truly are inside. Who we Truly are is magnificence, Beauty, Light, and Love, and the majority of us on the planet are hiding ourselves, not for fear of failure, but rather for fear of showing our True Selves to the world. The way to our True Selves is through going inside, and this is where we find our emotions. Emotions are the internal route to our True Selves, and are our guidance systems. Feelings are just our reactions to the outer stimuli all around us. They can be useful too, but most of the time outer stimuli usually means a reaction to the dramas that play like movies in our lives. When we end up tired of reacting to our dramas once too often, we begin the internal search to what is True and Real for Us.
    Usually each time I have blogged, a song title or part of a song has come to mind that I end up using as the blogs title. This one is from a song called The Trial, from a Pink Floyd album called The Wall…

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